Update: Spirit, Career, Hair

Hi, all!

I started a new job, and I have just NOT been able to post. I love the job (teaching math online), but between doing it, seeing my in-person math students, and running the house . . . I’m running!

Also, hubby and I have been attending a new class on Tuesdays. It is a study of the book “Soul Keeping” by John Ortberg. It’s been AH-MAZING for my soul. I can’t even tell you. I’ve been a follower of Christ for 30+ years and have read and studied tons and tons and don’t have a lot of time for mediocre stuff . . . so I wouldn’t mention it if I didn’t think it was worth mentioning. We’re watching the videos and working through the study guide and having deep discussions in groups. I’ve programmed my phone to present reminders and quotes to me from the book through the day, such as:

Okay! 🙂 That shared, below is a full hair update. WARNING: It’s lengthy and a little rambling/diary-ish because of the experience and length of time since my last post. Please excuse my typos (if I try to find the time to proofread, I’ll never get this post out! Lol!). And it’s not the most upbeat and positive of posts, until the end. However, I have nothing against anyone mentioned, I would still recommend the salon/stylist to anyone. It’s all good! 🙂

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So, I had my hair appointment to remove my extensive split ends. The stylist removed a lot of my hair (I told her to just do what she needed to do), so I lost a LOT of length. A LOT. A LOT. I’m back at that awkward stage where just about all I can wear is a very short wash-and-go or a tiny ponytail puff.

The good: The stylist gave me an amazingly elongated wash and go that had lots of swing at first (that’s her specialty). She took great care to teach me what she was doing. I really appreciated her thorough and patient explanations. Also, she recommended healthy products — INNERSENSE shampoo and conditioner, Uncle Funky’s Daughter’s Curly Magic gel.

The not-so-good: The stylist was late to the appointment (a fellow stylist there said this is typical) and so thus later she had to remove me from under the dryer before my hair was dry. As a result, my hair shrank at home once dry. 😦 Also, having arrived late, the stylist was unable to let me leave on time (despite saying that she “had me” when at the start I asked if I would be able to leave by a certain time). As a result, I was late getting to my nephew’s school to pick him up. I am never late there and hate that so very much: His teachers need every second of their time, and I was really bothered. As I was trying to rush out, the stylist told me “It’s not far, you’ll be fine.” Oh??? Why the assumption? Why did she assume she knew? Deep sigh. When I let her know which city I’d be driving to to pick up my nephew, I just got an “Oh. Yeah. You got a drive there.” Deep, deep sigh.

My nephew is on the spectrum and it’s tough for him to watch others get picked up on time and leave with loved ones who’ve hugged and collected them, and himself be left there with no family member in sight. And the teachers have a challenging job. They need their full breaks instead of losing break time waiting for late caregivers to arrive. So, yes, the flippant “It’s not far, you’ll be fine” assumption really bothered me. People’s time and lives are valuable. Life consists of time. Because I’m a caregiver, I really can’t do business with people who don’t care about (my) time, because good and caring people need and are expecting me to respect theirs.

While I was in the chair, the stylist shared her take on a variety of hair-related topics. Every stylist has his or her own belief system about hair and hair care, and this stylist was no exception. She believes that henna is what poor people use when they can’t afford real hair color and that henna had damaged my hair. She believes that I should not do twist outs and should not spend much time on my hair but should do wash and go’s to free up my time for other things. Finally, regarding the CONCEPT of hair porosity, she believes that your hair can EITHER easily take in water or OR easily release water, but NOT BOTH.

The last sentiment was a tiny red flag for me. Here’s why: Notice the image above by the amazing hair scientist that runs the Green Beauty YouTube channel. Notice the caption: “Characteristics of high porosity hair: Absorb[s] too much moisture; Leaks out moisture at a faster pace.” High porosity hair indeed does both EASILY take in water and EASILY release water . . . because it’s HIGHLY POROUS (porosity is high). This is fundamental hair knowledge and determines a lot about my hair care, so I was really surprised to be told “No, it’s one or the other, hair doesn’t do both.” I just said “Oh, okay” and wondered what other different beliefs she had about hair.

So . . . I don’t know! LOL! It was an interesting salon visit with short-lived results that I paid a lot for but that quickly shrank away once I was home due to the stylist’s late arrival . . . since that meant I had to leave the salon with hair not fully dry.

I don’t have a problem taking the stylist’s advice to refrain from using henna. I’ll try it to see if my hair improves without it. I admit I did feel discouraged by everything else. I treat the care of my hair as self care, and I enjoy basking in that time. I don’t get to do a lot of that type of thing at this juncture — meaning, basking in things that are just for me and are not about care taking — and hair care has been something that I can easily turn into “me time.”

And though I’m a grown woman and fully understand that no one’s words need mean a thing, the stylist’s speech took the joy right out of my hair spa time. I am certain she meant well. I am certain she assumed that her feelings about the duration of hair care should be mine as well. I’m sure she said this out of care. I think it was the tone — the “Baby, you need to just wash-and-go, stop the twist outs, stop the deep conditioning because well-hydrated hair doesn’t need it, and find something else to do with your time.” Eek. My hair time is my “I’m gonna relax and invest in me time” but okay. I felt defensive but realized I shouldn’t say anything: Her feelings about it are as legitimate as are mine. 🙂

I ended up leaving the salon feeling down, rushing like a mad woman to try to get to the school as early as possible, apologizing on the cell phone to his teachers about my pending late arrival. Then, when I got home, my spouse saw all those inches of my hair GONE, and without knowing about the stylist’s comments said, “I’m disenchanted now with the natural hair movement. I takes up a lot of time, you constantly have to get TONS of inches cut off, the stylists charge a LOT, there’s always some new product that promises to help that you’ve got to spend money on . . .”

Sooooooo 🙂 . . . as you might guess, at this juncture, I’m feeling . . . kind of done with the whole hair thing. LOL. At least for the moment. It’s mainly because I’m back at the hair length/stage where I don’t like the look of my hair and because the criticisms about taking time to care for and do my hair just really discouraged me.

I don’t typically take on others’ feelings/opinions about stuff like hair care, but I admit that THAT day was a very, very discouraging day for me.

I recognize that some of my “down” feelings stemmed from the overall experience of being made late and realizing that I would need to continue my search for a stylist or else be putting my hair into the hands of someone who doesn’t know how a key component of my hair works (its porosity) and is so relaxed about time that I couldn’t necessarily have other tasks on salon days.

Since my hair appointment, I haven’t had success in replicating the stylist’s elongating wash-and-go. And I’ve tried, too! She just has a way with wash-and-go’s! I have had good success with a gel I got on a whim but should not have purchased because I don’t like the ingredients (one lady said she dropped a penny it and a few days later the penny came out shiny clean as all get out! EEK!). The gel is the Argan Oil Eco Styler Gel. I get amazing results (WHY?!!! LOL!), especially if I stretch my hair once fully dry with either a hand-held blow dryer or the RevAir. Even when I DON’T stretch my hair, I get amazing results with the Argan Oil Eco Styler Gel, and my hair lasts for days and days.

And I know, I know: I said I wouldn’t purchase the RevAir until the manufacturers came out with a quieter, smaller, less costly version 2. Yeah. So let me explain (sheepish smile). Well, the RevAir went on sale, I had been considering just giving up on my hair and scheduling a relaxer given my feelings about my hair length and look and even my hair care practices/duration, I saw the RevAir techniques of the two ladies below, and RevAir offers a refund if you want to return it. That all combined to inspire me to just take the plunge and invest in it at this time.

So that’s my update! I’m now on the hunt for a healthier gel that performs on my hair like the Argan Eco Styler Gel. I’ve tried:

1. Kinky Curly Curling Custard (over the leave-in in the same line as well as alone),
2. the Mane Choice Proceed with Caution Gel (after talking to a sales representative),
3. the Mane Choice CHEERS Gelato,
4. Giovanni L.A. Strong Hold Styling Gel,
5. The Doux mousse (people including stylists rave about this, but my hair only lasted 1 day with this), and
6. Hydra Curlformer Gel.

The first 4 gels above give decent results, but not the same as the argan Eco. What I love about the Argan Eco Styler Gel is that I can use it alone over nothing but water, I can use as MUCH as I want with ZERO flaking, I get waaaayyyy less shrinkage, my hair is super defined and shiny, I get almost zero frizz (amazing, given that I have fine hair), and my hair lasts for DAYS. Did I mention that it’s very cost efficient? Kinky Curly costs a lot and can result in dried little gel goblets on my ends if I accidentally use too much. Same with my beloved Bronner Brother’s Firm Hold Curling gel (which releases dust after drying sometimes as well).

Next I’m going to try some Garnier Fructis products to try to replicate my Argan Oil Eco Styler Gel results, based on YouTuber rachelcpr’s demo, review, and results below. I love EVERYTHING she said about her experience and results, I prefer the ingredients SO MUCH MORE, and the cost is so reasonable.

After that, if need be, I may try a very RISKY combo based on the demo below.

Two final comments regarding technique:

I tried a YouTuber’s method (see video below) of using duckbill hair clips to clip my roots down while my wash-and-go dried. I removed the clips once my hair was about 80% dry because I was concerned about the clips possibly leaving demarcation lines in my hair. I may not have needed to remove them, I don’t know. Anyhow, I got good elongation and great results from that technique.

Last but certainly not least, I’ve tried a few more detangling brushes — just to see if any would outperform my Felicia Leatherwood brush. After losing so much hair due to mechanical damage, I now am staying pretty open to finding ANYTHING that will reduce how much hair I need to lose each trim. AWESOMELY, I ended up finding a brush that is even LESS damaging, is more effective, is SUPER quick to use, and helps DEFINE my hair. The Felicia Leatherwood brush is still awesome, but it does leave me with poofy hair and more hair in the brush than does this new brush. The new brush is the Curly Hair Solutions Flexy Brush, which I purchased here after viewing demos and reviews by YouTubers M.A.D. Curls and Curly Guy. It leaves so little hair in the brush and detangles my hair so thoroughly and quickly, I almost shed a little tear. LOL! There is a version (knock-off maybe???) available from House of Beauty for about $9.

Alright! That’s the hair update. I hope this post was informative. My apologies for the long delay. I had to make sure I was putting my all into meeting my clients’ needs, and that has been paying off handsomely. I’m grateful to God for that. 😀

Please feel free to post your comments and questions below. As always, thank you so much for visiting the blog and checking in with me. I hope this post finds you and yours well!

Blessings! ❤

Yvette